The goal is wholeness, not perfection.

"Figuring myself out so I can be exactly who I was meant to be has been a lifelong goal of mine."

I used to say I wanted to be the perfect Charlynn. That’s a noble intention, but I eventually learned it wasn’t good for me in the long run. As I have grown, I’ve learned that the quest for perfection is one that leads me to thoughts and behaviors that are unkind and unloving. That kind of perfection is based on preset perfect ideals that you can attempt to achieve, but if and when you fail you miss out on a moment, an opportunity, or sometimes an entire experience that you didn’t think was ‘good enough.’  


Perfection, once attained, is very difficult to maintain and is something that often gets in the way of true, abiding, self-love. Nowadays, I no longer feel the need to perfect something (my life) that isn’t supposed to be perfect in the first place. Instead, I now seek wholeness and authenticity. These pursuits have brought me to places of greater happiness with a deeper understanding of myself.

…vs. wholeness and authenticity

What does wholeness mean to me? It means being fully present, finding the beauty and grace inside all things in my life – the good, bad and everything in between. It means being accountable to myself and to others and growing from mistakes. Being whole, to me, is being in a state of recognition that adult humanity is a complex. That humanity is a beautiful and flawed thing and deserves consideration on many levels.

All of this is wrapped up in authenticity.  When I am myself – unapologetically yet accountably me – I am down to the very core in a place of true balance in the world.  I am honoring my sense of individuality while acknowledging my role in the connection of all things.  This is not an easy balance to attain, but crucial to my life if I am to truly live in a way that continues to evolve me.

So, I consider the experience of living my life as the thing to perfect – and the only way I can make it perfect is by being truly myself.

Charlynn Avery
Contributor & Founding Member

An avid aroma enthusiast, I have devoted my career to understanding the connection between mind, body and spirit. I come from a diverse background in education, health and wellness and have practiced and taught in the arenas of bodywork, holistic therapies, yoga and plant medicine. I've been teaching about essential oil usage for 14 years with the last six years at Frontier Co-op educating about essential oils on behalf of the Aura Cacia brand. My passions are my family, reading, writing, gardening, natural healing, yoga, hiking, & travel. I believe the world is made a better place by small acts of kindness.

Share Your Thoughts

margie r 79315474

June 14, 2018 - 6:38pm

Inner Peace!  Being in the moment and not thinking about the future and what it holds.  Learning to be my authentic self and find my happiness without having someone fill that void.

Diane C 1882555630

June 23, 2018 - 9:26am

I love that! I feel the same way, well said thank you for sharing.

Ginny Q

June 5, 2018 - 11:14am

I was so much into perfection. But I learned many years ago to live in the moment. Balance in my life of chronic pain is crucial to maintaining my pain.

Felicia F 351399118

June 3, 2018 - 7:03pm

I think PEACE is my word. To have peace and be humble is all I seek. I know GOD can handle the rest.

Brenda G 1584415375

June 23, 2018 - 6:02pm

Well said this how I feel thank you for the inspiration

Mary M 264207539

May 29, 2018 - 5:13am

Being present has been a goal for me. Being in the moment and trying to appreciate everything in that moment is a real eye-opener!  I am learning to, just let it be… Be me.

Cathy P 906629906

May 29, 2018 - 4:49am

My One Word for the year is Balance.  This piece helps to put that into perspective for one that strives to be perfect, then is unkind to myself once not reached.  Thank you

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