Do you ever feel so incredibly stuck that you’re certain you’re going to explode? Your house is a mess, your anxiety levels are through the roof and it appears as if your entire world is falling apart.
If you could simply figure out how to get rid of all these FEELINGS, then you might experience some kind of relief.
I hear you and I get you! This used to happen to me quite often. Sometimes it was completely out of the blue and at other times it was brought on by a lack of self-care, over committing, trying to cram 10,0000 things into one day and forgetting to drink enough water. Sound familiar?
As women we tend to say “yes” to everything for fear that people may not value our “no.” As a culture, we are getting better about not placing such high expectations on women. However, women in general still tend to take on way too much. In fact, a study at UCLA’s Center on Everyday Lives and Families (CELF) found a link between high cortisol (stress hormone) levels in female homeowners and a high density of household objects. Having more things can mean having more stress. The study also found that women tend to associate a tidy home with a happy family, while men are less concerned about mess.
Here are a few of my favorite rituals to clear stagnant energy and get in tune with myself and my space. We are all made up of energy and energy feeds on energy. Like attracts like. If you want a high frequency vibe in your space, you will first need to get any negative feelings up and out of your mind and then connect to the feelings that you most desire. Like any other relationship, the relationship with your home requires love, attention and nurturing.
Mind dump journal exercise – 5 minutes
This is the perfect exercise when you don’t have the luxury of getting outside for a run or popping into a yoga class. Here’s how it works:
- Grab a pen and paper. It can even be scratch paper. This isn’t something you are going to keep.
- Sit down and get quiet.
- Start with three deep breaths; in through the nose and out through the mouth.
- Tune in to the feelings that are most heightened in this moment. Are you anxious? Overwhelmed? Angry? Sad? Confused? Without judgement, just allow the feeling to surface. There is no right or wrong feeling in this moment. Just observe.
- Ask yourself: What emotions, stories or false beliefs do I kindly request move out of my headspace now, in order to call in for what I truly desire (mentally, emotionally and physically)? If nothing comes to you that’s totally fine. It doesn’t matter. See if you can play here a little bit.
- Set a timer for 5 minutes.
- Now, without editing, just start writing about the feelings, the stuff, the sadness… whatever. Just write, write and keep writing until the timer stops. It doesn’t need to make sense. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just keep writing. No judgement.
- At the end of 5 minutes you can stop or, if you are really on a roll, keep going until you have exhausted all possible feelings, scenarios and energies that want to come up and out.
- Now take the paper and thank it for allowing you to dump all over it. Next, do one of three things: burn it in your fireplace, rip the paper up into tiny pieces and place it in your recycling bin or bury the paper in the earth and kindly request mother earth to compost all the things that you are releasing.
- Notice how much better you FEEL after writing down and getting OUT all the feelings that you were holding inside.
- Lastly, close this ritual with a little bit of celebration. I suggest a happy dance or a cup of tea. Take a bath or simply let the sun warm your skin for a few moments. Allow yourself a moment to celebrate.
We so rarely take time to celebrate our accomplishments. Yes, taking the time to do this exercise is a HUGE accomplishment. Please make space to honor your self-care.
House blessing ceremony simplified
Until we can create a clear vision for how we want our house to FEEL, we will remain stuck in the spiral of overwhelm, not knowing where to begin, how to start, how to use a space or how we need our home to support us. A house blessing isn’t about removing evil spirits or ghosts, it is about taking the positive energy that is already working in the home and turning up the volume.
- Gather a few tools – sage, lighter, feather, candle, glass of water, chime or bell.
- Ring a bell or chime to signal the opening of the ceremony. If you don’t have a bell you can snap your fingers three times.
- Sit down. Close your eyes and take a few long, deep breaths. I recommend doing this as often as you can throughout your day as the breath is the most efficient way to calm the nervous system. Open your eyes once you feel calm and relaxed.
- Ground and connect to your home. Ask yourself, “What feeling do I want my home to embody?” Maybe it’s joy? Love? Clarity? Support? Calm? You may not be able to label the feeling but you know that you have felt it when you’ve been in a home that has good juju. A home that feels good energetically is what I’m looking for. Anchor that feeling in.
- Once you have the feeling that you’d like infused into your home, create an intention for the ceremony. Simple is always better. An example would be “I am clearing out any negative, stagnant energy keeping me from a clean and organized home. My home is now spacious and supportive.” I like making intentions in the present tense as if they are already manifested.
- Now tune in to the space that currently causes you the most upset. I’m sure that you have several but one is fine for now.
- Next, imagine the dysfunctional space exactly as you wish it to be. Use your imagination here. Get creative. You can dream the space however you desire. What activities happen in this room? Are there any pieces of furniture that you need to complete the space? Would you paint it a different color? What feelings arise as you start using your creativity? Are you getting excited about the possibilities?
- Here’s the fun part: go stand in the space that you would like to reinvent. I know it may feel really overwhelming, however, remember the new feeling that you are bringing into this space. Just breathe and anchor that in again.
- Now, recall a time in your life when you felt accomplished, proud and complete. There has to be at least one thing that you have accomplished that you felt really good about, right? As you stand in the space that might currently feel paralyzing, remember that you are capable of change. As long as there is breath in your body, you have the power to change. This feeling of accomplishment, success and achievement coupled with the feeling you brought in with your intention will become your new motivator. When things seem stuck again, remember this feeling and get back on track.
- Lastly, walk around the space that you desire to uplift. Walk around it three times in a clockwise pattern lightly pushing sage smoke into each corner with the feather. The sage helps clear and, some say, lift your prayers or intentions up to the heavens. If you feel called to walk the same clockwise pattern again and sprinkle a bit of water in each corner, go for it.
- Close out the ceremony by ringing a bell or chime and saying thank you! Your home will support you as long as you support it.
Gratitude meditation in just three breaths
An attitude of gratitude helps to attract more of the good things you already have going on! This is a super quick and simple meditation to help you call in more abundance and increase your energy flow. Slow down your thoughts and repeat gratitude affirmations so you can focus on the clutter clearing ahead. Here we go...
Sit in a chair with your feet planted firmly on the ground. Close your eyes.
Place your hands in the center of your chest right over your heart. Notice your feet touching the ground. Notice your hands on your chest. Now take three deep, slow breaths all through a wide open mouth, counting silently to yourself on the inhale… 1-2-3… exhaling equally as slow and gently… 1-2-3.
Once the three breaths have been completed, choose three things that you are grateful for in this moment. Repeating positive affirmations silently to ourselves helps to raise our vibration. Remember, energy attracts energy. If you are thinking positive thoughts, more positivity will come your way.
“I am grateful for my breath”
“I am grateful for my home.”
“I am grateful for all that I have.”
Breathing through the mouth instead of the nose helps us to connect more deeply with the lower, or root chakras.
Sending breath down into the lower part of the body generally stimulates feelings associated with safety, patience and a sense of connection to the earth.
Placing the hands over the heart helps the body release a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the hugging hormone, which helps the body feel more relaxed and stable.
I urge all my clients to try this exercise when a project feels overwhelming and your energy is off. It’s truly refreshing to be able to calm the body in just three breaths.