It’s 11 am on a Saturday and the kids have been particularly challenging today.
August is mad that Bennett is crawling into "his space" and I can’t say I blame him. Watching my toddler learn to control his impulses has been surprisingly eye-opening for me. I truly believe we have a toddler in all of us that needs to feel in control of our space, our body, and what will happen in our lives next. Yet as we all know, this kind of control is triggered by the deeply disappointing truth that nothing is in our control, aside from how we decide to react to the chaos.
Through seeing this truth manifest in my son and his totally warranted displeasure in learning there are rules and limits and boundaries to set for ourselves, I’ve come to reassess my own relationship with boundaries. It’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life and in an odd way, I get a little thrill from subjecting myself to chaos through avoidance, lack of planning, and self-sabotage.
I’ve made a lot of changes the past couple months to feel better in my body and dedicating time, space, and mindset to finding quiet during the day has been a huge part of this effort. In a world that loves to talk about self-care as a commodity, finding headspace is free. While the act itself is free it is not always easy. Establishing a ritual is the first big hurdle. Dedicating a space in my house to practice also removed a huge barrier to entry for me, too.